Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize