Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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