I'm going to jail i love you
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.