I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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