i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
