i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
