so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
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Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
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Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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