I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
