So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize