he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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