I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I can't put those talents on a resume
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
