my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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