90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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