I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize