I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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