Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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