What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize