So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
