Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(217): View more from Illinois

he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper

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(703): View more from Virginia

He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.

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(757): View more from Virginia

At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

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(310): View more from California

You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(914): View more from New York

right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"

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(704): View more from North Carolina

help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up

(919): View more from North Carolina

which one looks the most like her?

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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"

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(248): View more from Michigan

I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.

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(647): View more from Ontario

I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.

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