dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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