i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
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I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.