your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing