I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.