Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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