I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
