All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize