i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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