i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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