All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
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