Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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