Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
