in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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