I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
A+ Viking dick
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
the raccoons are back...
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