bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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