I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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