kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
