I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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