If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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