Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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