she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
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he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
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Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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