where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
