whats a polygalesbian?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"