Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Hippo gnu deer
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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