Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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