Swine flu is the new snow day.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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