I could have mohawked her pubes.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
