You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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