Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
