dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
