I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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