So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.