drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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