I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize