I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
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All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
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She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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