I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.