Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS