I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
When did we convert life to cartoon?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow