He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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